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Wednesday Jokes Updates: top 10

Yes it here again! Wednesday update on jokes, I know you won’t love to laugh alone share with friends!

1 what does a pregnant teen and her unborn baby have in common?

they’re both thinking “oh shit my mom is going to kill me”

2 Girl: Daddy, how are babies made?

Dad: Daddy plants a seed in mommy’s tummy.

Girl: Does she swallow the seed?Dad: Only if she wants new shoes.

3 I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.

BULLY: I feel so sorry for you, Loser !!!

NERD: Well at least somebody cares … pity we can’t say the same for you !!!

(SILENCE)

5 If Snapchat has taught me anything it’s that a lot of you females look better as farm animals.

6  A lady goes to the doctor complaining of abdominal pains, and after many tests the doctor finally returns back to her with some results.

DOCTOR: Well, I hope you like changing diapers

WOMAN: Why, am I pregnant ???

DOCTOR: No, you have Bowel Cancer !!!

A blonde drops off a dress to the dry cleaners.

The little Asian lady says “come again!”

The blonde says, “no, its toothpaste this time.”

8  A gay man goes to a bar, and the bouncer is explaining the dress code regulations:

BOUNCER: “That shirt has to go, you’ve got to lose those pants, that belt definitely has to come off, and you need to get rid of those shoes !!!”

GAY MAN: “Ohhhhh, Wonderful … I’m dancing naked, again”

9  I’d like to thank the girl with no sports bra who ran with me through the last few miles of yesterday’s marathon. Your lack of support got me through.

 

10 There was a father and two sons. The sons were called Ikey and Mikey.

They stayed in their apartment while their dad went to the store. Unfortunately, their dad forgot the keys to his car. He shouted to Ikey, “Throw my key out of the window!”

And then Ikey threw Mikey out of the window.

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